


2020-11-06 05:00 UTC @ The Great Cosmic Server Room

by thenewdarling



Category: Real Person Fiction, Supernatural
Genre: M/M, i swear i'm losing my mind, the meta as hell reason all of these dots are connected, the pepe silvia wall is real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:35:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27416635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenewdarling/pseuds/thenewdarling
Summary: A bunch of Gods working in an office realise the computer running Earth has been slowly breaking down in the corner.Meta fanfic about November 6th and all of the madness of Biden, Putin and Destiel all happening on the same day.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	2020-11-06 05:00 UTC @ The Great Cosmic Server Room

**November 6th**

Minerva rubbed her eyes and sipped her coffee as she walked into the office. She had a lot to do today and she wasn't looking forward to it.

She took her coat off and hung it on the coat hanger, looking around the room - an exact replica of the set from The Office (US).

There was no-one here.

She padded around the room, peeking into offices, until she found them all. Huddled around the computer server. Vishnu was flapping his hands pacing the room, panicking. "Ohhhh dear."

"What's going on?" Minerva asked.

"It's the computers, they're not working," Vishnu said. "We only noticed when none of us could log in."

"Ok..." Minerva said, the gravity of it not yet hitting her.

"The CPU cores are pegging and we're just haemorrhaging data," Hephaestus said, tapping on the keyboard. "The whole simulation is about to come down."

"Ah." There it was. A small, hard knot in her stomach. She did not need this today. "Do we have a backup?"

"Of course we don't have a backup! I would've done that already!"

"Alright, don't lose your beard," she said.

"Where do you find the space to back up a universe?" Hephaestus said.

"Is Odin in yet?" Minerva said.

"Are you kidding? Of course not," Easter said, among the group of employees who had nothing else to do without the computers but stand and watch the spectacle.

"And the whole thing's stored in RAM so if we turn it off we have no idea how much we'll lose," Loki said. "Ohhh, he's gonna kill me."

"Well then if we can't turn it off, we just have to fix it. And fast, before we lose anything else," Minerva said. "Come on, I don't want Jesus on my arse." She clicked her fingers at the hoard. "You all, back to your desks." Then she sat down at the other terminal and logged in.

She whistled. "Oh, MY GOD. When was the last time anyone checked up on this thing! Donald Trump is president??"

"It was just sitting in the corner - it's supposed to send an email if there's a problem," Loki said sheepishly.

"Oh God ok, we have to fix this. He's about to get re-elected," Minerva said. "Bloody hell there's so much corruption in the data. Ok, I'm taking Putin out of the picture."

"What?" Hephaestus said. "But you have no idea of what kind of consequences that'll have! That's only supposed to happen in the Destiel Timeline."

"Then I guess Destiel is canon now," she said.

The computer buckled, the entire office shaking. "The entire simulation is tearing at the seams!"

Minerva laughed, typing rapidly. "I hope you've been hitting Ctrl+S."

"We have four minutes before all cats grow an extra head! Six before the entire spacetime fabric ruptures and collapses into nothing!"

"Alright Gods, time to focus!" she shouted, and the entire office lit up with the celestial light of a million religions. 

The Music of the Spheres rose to a crescendo, the straining of the chains that hold the continuum in place...

"It's about to collapse!!" Hephaestus shouted over the burning.

"MAKE IT SO!!!" Minerva shouted.

And together they screamed their manifestations into the broken and buckling Earth.

"BIDEN... IS... PRESIDENT!!!"

"PUTIN... STEPS... DOWN!!!!"

"DESTIEL!!!! IS!!!! CANON!!!"

The universe, personified, spoke. Exhausted. "I... I can't... It was eight years ago... The timelines diverged so far..."

"IT IS OUR WILL!!!! SO IT IS SPOKEN, SO MOTE IT BE!!!"

And the universe screamed as the dislocated shoulder of the 2016 Presidency was reset.

And when the light faded, they breathed a sigh of relief. "Cool," Minerva said, picking up her coffee. "So I take it we just go back to ignoring the problem until this happens again?"

"Sounds good to me," Hephaestus said.


End file.
